📰 The Weekly Tangent

“Reporting the News Nobody Asked For."

Contrary to popular belief, premium bumper stickers are waterproof, UV-resistant, and dishwasher-safe. Insiders reveal that the only reason people believe otherwise is because Big Car Wash has been running smear campaigns to sell overpriced sticker-removal kits.

An investigative journalist for the Funnel Cake Tree recently found evidence of money laundering, bribery of local officials, and a litany of other illicit activities at roughly 88% of all touch less automatic car washes across the country. Not only have they attacked the very backbone of our communities they are now going after the very back bone of the American people BUMPER STICKERS. 

Here at the Funnel Cake Tree we ask you to stand with us and our love of bumper stickers. 

⚠️ Disclaimer: None of this is real. Except the stickers. Those are extremely real.

About the author — Brad Stickerson

Brad Stickerson is The Weekly Tangent’s Chief Reporter. When he’s not uncovering sticker-related scandals, he can be found loitering in parking lots “for research.” Brad’s previous exposés include “The Glitter Glue Coverup” and “Who’s Really Controlling the Air Freshener Supply Chain.”